Kane and Lynch: Dead Men Review
By Sith Lord Jim
Kane swears at Lynch. Lynch swears at everyone. Gamer swears at Kane and Lynch as they realize that once again one of their henchmen is embedded in a wall. Welcome to the rather frustrating experience that is playing Kane and Lynch. This one isn’t for the kiddies.
In a gritty and exciting story full of bank heists, violence, swearing, jail breaks, and more swearing, you play as the extremely unlikable characters Kane and Lynch. Kane is broken out of prison to retrieve things that he may or may not have stolen from the mercenary group The7, that he once belonged to. The7 are holding his wife and daughter hostage and have the schizophrenic Lynch who may or may not have killed his wife keeping an eye on Kane. So you must shoot your way through banks, night clubs, and skyscrapers in order to save Kane’s family.
As interesting as the story starts out sounding it very quickly falls apart, due to absolutely nothing being fleshed out. The “may or may not” in the previous paragraph were not there because I didn’t want to spoil something for you, but because these sort of things are never really revealed. Subplots and characters are never fully introduced let alone concluded. It makes the story unsatisfying and convoluted. It is especially disappointing as the little snippets you do get of the characters show that they would and could be very interesting characters if there was some story actually fleshed out.
The voice acting is brilliant, but the dialogue does come off as being unnecessarily over the top. Don’t get me wrong I don’t have a huge problem with swearing, but when it is quite literally in every second sentence in the game it is just too much. All it does is make the main characters even more dislikable than they already were.
The action in the game does not do anything new. It takes many features that other games did well and replicates them, often poorly. The best example of this is the cover system a lot of third and first person games are using currently. In K&L there is no button to move into cover, you just simply move towards it and the character will lock into the cover. Unfortunately many surfaces will decide to not let you take cover or will just suck you into cover for no apparent reason.
There is an incredible amount of bugs in the game. AI characters would often get stuck inside walls, pillars, chairs, or even each other. It becomes even more frustrating when you need all your team mates with you to finish a level. Kane and Lynch themselves also both had a tendency to get stuck behind small objects as there is no jump button.
You will want to play co-op if you do decide to play as the AI is some of the worst I have seen in a game in a very long time. The amount of times I watched as my men shot each other in the back of the head, while trying to shot an enemy in front of the guy they just capped was just plain ridiculous.
The Fragile Alliance multiplayer is one of the few original and redeeming factors of K&L. In a game mode that encourages thinking like a criminal; four to eight players attempt to get as much loot as possible on four different scenarios varying from a bank heist to a jewelry store robbery.
Each level is filled with AI opponents making team work at least initially a good idea. You need to shoot your way through the level picking up as much cash as possible before getting to the getaway vehicle. If you escape in the getaway vehicle with your team the loot is split evenly.
Thankfully there is another option and trust me it is an appealing one. Simply take out a teammate yourself and take his hard earned cash for yourself. Of course do this too early and all your team mates will be after your head in order to get the money that’s now on it as you are a traitor. That’s not to mention the angry team mate you just killed, who now comes back as a police officer as do any other players that die. It’s these strategic betrayals that make each round different, as players scheme and lie in order to get as much money as possible. Don’t be surprised if you hear the excuse “You stepped in the way of my gun.”
Each match consists of a few rounds and in between the rounds cash is used in to buy one of three weapon packages to use in the next round. Each weapon pack has body armor, a pistol, and a different type of machine gun.
There are two main problems that prevent the multiplayer from being brilliant. Firstly it’s still Kane and Lynch. So there are still the sloppy controls and the poorly implemented cover system to deal with. Secondly Fragile Alliance is the only game mode, only has four levels, only has three different weapon packs, and has zero customization options as far as appearance goes. This means that although matches play out differently the game gets boring very fast as it is so limited. It seems strange that they would not include so many weapons from the main game that are customary in any shooter, such as the shotgun or the sniper rifle.
Graphically K&L is one of the worst looking games on the Xbox 360. The artistic style is suitably gritty and the main characters are nicely detailed but environments themselves are very bland. There have been many original Xbox games that do look better visually than K&L.
I do suggest avoiding this one, but I understand how intriguing the game does sound. Kane and Lynch is nothing but a less than average shooter with an interesting multiplayer mode slapped. In a year filled to the brim with top quality Xbox 360 games, there really is no place for a game with such underwhelming graphics, underwhelming game play and such poor enemy AI. There is fun to be had here, but it’s not worth the frustration.
© 2008 James McIntyre
Score: 4/10 
Filed under: 3rd Party Games, Console gaming, Microsoft Games, Xbox 360 3rd Party Games, Xbox 360 Game Reviews Tagged: | "kane & Lynch review", 360 games, Atari Games, kane and lynch review, review, Xbox 360 Game Reviews, Xbox 360 News, xbox360
i dont know. Kane and Lynch was funny to play.
and much more fun on multiplayer than all those serious and boring (FPS) online modes plenty of serious people who missed the FUNfactor in online gaming.
anyway…
i didnt like this game very much
Thanks mate, glad to see you’re still about and finally out of bed . . hehehe… Check the Bios out when you get a chance, lot more people here now, real ones, they have names and a picture too . . . amazing eh . . .
Hope you like the changes I’ve made since last you visited, the new header and the general feel and look etc.
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. I will endeavour to visit this great blog more frequently… keep up the good work.
I was actually looking forward to Army of Two, but from what I have been reading it does sound like it will be a let down. Hopefully EA does remaster it a little bit and improve upon what the previews have been complaining about. It’s a new IP so I’m sure they’ll take their time and make sure to get it right… we’ll see…
Hey mate, good to see you here, glad you could make it. Make sure you have a good look around, and feel free to comment on anything that takes your fancy . . .You can upload your gamerpic if you like from Xbox.com . .
How’s married life treating you now . . .
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Good review there Jim, disappointed about such a poor score… It might be my turn with a low score, I’m playing KUF:COD right now
Maybe they’ll make the characters more likeable?
Yeah I had heard about the movie. Heres hoping it doesnt get the Halo movie treatment and get postponed indefinately.
The Movie is set to begin filming – now, with a release period of early 2009, poss late 2008 . . . so both the game’s sequel and the Movie are under way.
I wish they would just bring out the movie and not worry about making a sequel. I think the story is much more suited to a movie. As long as actually fleshes things out.
Nay, K&L doesn’t interest me either. From just the demo, the controls are clumsy, and the graphics are not the best, given that it’s a 3 wave 360 game . . . I know it’s just a demo, and will give the final game a play via rental, but it’s not a game I’ll be looking at buying until it hits the bargain-bin . .which shouldn’t be that long . .
And, Kane & Lynch 2 is actually already in-the-works . . . . so hopefully, they will have learnt some valuable lessons, and do the game justice, and fix the basic flaws in it, and polish the rest . . .
Hope you had a good Christmas mate (dimorphic) . . . do behave yourself over the NY’s Eve period . . .
I was actually never interested in Army of Two so that really dosen’t suprise me. As for K&L, this was a game that I was somewhat interested in but after all I’ve seen and read it really dosen’t seem worth it.
Yeah wow that is rather interesting. I will have to make up my mind for myself as well. Heres hoping that they do manage to fix the issues before release. I believe it has been pushed back once again actually.
Here’s what XbxWorld360 had to say in its summary oft he game in their latest (jan ’08 ssue) of their mag . .
“As it stands, we hate Army Of Two. It’s nothing but a good thing that the game’s back in the can until next year. With a bit of luck, EA Montreal are doing a number on it so they can fix the multitude of very bad bits. Sadly, it’ll still be saddled with two characters who are about as appealing as lying under a glass coffee table while Chris Moylees takes a big dump on top, though.” . .. . . .
plus “As it stands, Army Of Two is a juvenile swear-fest with clumbsy controls, a story apparently penned by a seven year old who hates them ‘ayhabs’, laughable level design that tosses you into a cut-scene every thirty seconds, sub Perfect Dark Zero graphics and the two least likable characters in gaming history” . . .
Wow, now that is a recommendation – not.
Their words, not mine btw . . I WAS interested in it, I’ll wait until a demo is up, or at least get a hold of it to review and make my mind up then . . . but I usually trust the tossers over at XboxWorld360, bas much as they are bad-mouthed-poms, they do give honest and very critical previews on the 360′s games, and do NOT pull any punches. They are NOT an official xbox360 mag, so they don’t have to tow the line with what they write.
Thats interesting about Army of Two I must have been reading the wrong previews because I am really quite excited about that one
Be nice if Microsoft could send us a preview copy of that one :p
I really enjoy co-op gameplay, with the exception of this game of course, and so a game that revolves around that sort of team work really appeals to me.
Army of Two has been bagged heavily so far in several previews of the game, with the gameplay coming under attack as nothing short of “lame” . . .
The developers have had it moved back a few months as well . . .”to ensure it’s polished properly – (cough – fixed- cough) The gameplay is “supposed” to be very ordinary, and the language and banter between the two is nothing short of distasteful to the enth-degree in many of the previewers eyes (or ears as the case might be).
I agree, over the top swearing certainly isn’t “cool” and nor is it called for in many games, and definitely not to the extent that ‘some’ games include it. Personally I see it as a developers way of covering up their shortfalls in actually having a game of some substance, that can actually stand by itself . . . without the swearing . . . . or poor behavour.
I’m not big on swearing as a way of trying to make a game character seem “tough” or a game seem cool. The Darkness was a fantastic game but also seemed a bit heavy on the “I’m cool so I’m going to swear a lot”. I watch some films like that too, and they aren’t any more funny or ‘authentic’ for using the F word all the time. Contextual swearing doesn’t bother me….people do swear. But firstly I don’t like it when it is overdone to distraction and secondly it is annoying to have to be sure the kids are safely away from my playing before I can play. I suspect Army of Two may suffer some of the same issues as this one (including technical issues), but time will tell. Interesting review; thanks.