50 Cent: Blood On The Sand Review

Life’s a bitch Homey, then you die…

by dkpatriarch

© 2009 David Hilton:- 2IC-Sub Editor

I was looking forward to reviewing this game because I don’t like hip-hop rap gangsta music or the attitude behind the whole urban ghetto thing and I figured this game would be a laugh to poke fun at.  After all, games and 50 Cent don’t really seem likely to mix well, and his last game, 50 Cent: Bulletproof, seemed to demonstrate that.

What I got was something that perplexed me.

Rarely have I felt so much in two minds or so surprised by a game as I was with this one.  The game is published by THQ and made by Swordfish Studios, who released Cold Winter last gen.  They have made a 3rd person shooter that borrows aspects from other shooters and throws out anything that gets in the way of exhilarating fun.  How could a game with so many self-destructive qualities actually keep me so entertained?

It should have been a sure flop, but it isn’t.

Since I’m in two minds about this game I think I’ll approach the review from that angle.  Mind 1 sees a lot of faults, while Mind 2 sees a lot of fun.

Mind 1: Let’s start with the ridiculous story.  50 Cent and the G-Unit crew don’t get paid after they perform a concert  (wearing grenades?) in the Middle-East and decide that chasing around a diamond-encrusted skull, shooting up already run-down buildings, and getting double-crossed by everyone is the usual way to deal with this sort of thing.

I guess it must be like that in the rough ghettos of America where Fiddy grew up and got himself shot (for real), but in the game you’d think the amount of cash laying around in boxes to break, which he uses to buy bigger guns, would more than pay for a lifetime’s worth of concerts.

For a run-down place, the Middle East apparently has a lot of cash in boxes on the street and in abandoned buildings.

And I mean abandoned…there’s nobody around, except the few characters Fiddy trusts and then gets betrayed by or the dancing girls.  You also don’t really know who Fiddy is fighting: they are called thieves, then drug dealers, gangsters, and, of course, terrorists.

Finally, it also has one of the most anti-climactic endings I’ve ever seen in a game.

Mind 2: Okay, the story is a pile of horse manure but it allows for a lot of shoot-em-up action, and that’s really the ‘story’ of this game.

I mean do most shooters have much of a story anyway, except maybe Bioshock?  This game doesn’t take itself seriously; it just gives you reasons to hunt down and kill baddies and avoids the pretence.

Mind 1: So why have a story at all?  50 Cent and his buddies sound like they are reading their lines, which is mostly swearing anyway.  I mean the language would make that obnoxious chef guy from Hell’s Kitchen blush!  And if you don’t get enough f-ing expletives in the rolling 50 Cent soundtrack or in their clever dialogue (like “Shit it’s f-ing payday homey!”), you can hit the left analogue stick to shout out some more obscenities!  I couldn’t play this game in surround sound with kids in the house!

Mind 2: Well get over it; this is a 50 Cent game and you have to expect that language.  Besides if you really can’t stand it you can turn the volume down on the music and dialogue and turn on subtitles in the menu and keep sound effects.

Mind you the subtitles are so small you can barely read them but the story isn’t a big thing anyway.  Every cut scene Fiddy is betrayed by someone he trusts. That’s it.

You can also go into the music player which is like an iPod and choose what tracks you want or don’t want.  Get rid of them all and you get a rather good if repetitive beaty instrumental.

Mind 1: I’m not sure why they needed to make it a 50 Cent game anyway, to be honest.  It is good, though, that Swordfish gives you instrumental or sound off options because I’m not a fan of Fiddy’s music, but that’s not the only sound issue.

The bad guys speak the same gibberish (even though all the signs around the place are in English), they make the same dying sounds when you shoot them, and the music never matches what is happening on screen like in many other shooters like COD.  You also get this strange siren going off every few minutes.

Mind 2: That siren is actually to let you know another mini-challenge is starting, which is part of the arcade fun of the game.  As for the delivery of lines, look how bad they were in Far Cry 2…you could barely work out what they were saying.

Obviously a lot of shooters don’t make it a big priority.

Mind 1: Umm…again Bioshock.  Half Life 2?

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Mind 2: Okay some do.  But what about the pretty tight controls this game has.  It feels a lot like Gears Of War and works very well.  The shooting feels tight and the run, cover, and shoot is very close to that Gears level.  It also uses the quick-time events button pressing for close-quarter combat like the Bourne Conspiracy or Quantum of Solace games.

It also has a focus bar you build up.  When you press Y the enemies are in slow-mo while you pick them off, which comes in handy to build up your kill combo score.

There is a real arcady feel, which seems to borrow from the game The Club, where you rack up scores based on damage, keeping kill combos going, treasure and poster collection, hidden ‘bullseye’ targets found and shot, and bonus mini-objectives that pop up all the time and highlight the enemies to kill in glowing red for the bonus points.

It keeps the action up and is a joy to play.  It also adds replay value because you can try and beat your score from your last play.  Each level is also separated well into bite-sized sub-levels you can choose later.

There’s also a bit of diversity with the standard helicopter gunner and driving sections mixed in with the run and shoot.  They are actually really well done and fun, unlike some that feel like a chore.

Mind 1: The controls are indeed simple and familiar, but the in-game execution isn’t always perfect: like when you get stuck against cover when you are trying to roll ahead, or when you go up the many sets of stairs and the screen jiggles like mad (and not in a shaky-cam way either).  There’s no quick-run button either, just dive forward.

The arcady feel is meant to keep you running and shooting, which makes for frantic fun as you can’t just sit safely behind cover if you want to get the points up.

However, the fact you are looking for containers of ‘bling’ to earn points and cash (to spend on new weapons, taunts, or music at special phone booth ‘shops’) and looking for hidden posters and targets means that you have to slow down and explore too.

This kind of defeats the keep running and shooting as fast as you can purpose.  I guess you can go back once you’ve worked out where everything is and do it faster, sub-level by sub-level, so it is replayable if you want a higher score.

Mind 2: Well even if you do have to explore, the environments are surprisingly diverse and the graphics really polished, so slowing down to admire the work Swordfish have put into the visuals is worth it.  Even when you move up close it looks clear and crisp and some of the lighting is really well done, including proper shadowing of your character.  You fight your way through places like run-down palaces, citadels, markets, freeways, desert roads, run-down streets, a burning theatre, and the usual abandoned buildings.  Not much sand though…

Mind 1: The graphics are indeed a treat, but the environments are extremely linear and there is very limited interaction with objects like you see in games like Far Cry 2.  Flames, for example, are static and do not spread and you can hit objects and they won’t move.

You can shoot wood crates and lights that are strangely indestructible, even when using a rocket launcher and even when there are exploding barrels next to them. But shoot a car enough and it will explode wonderfully.

Then when you drive your humvee, you can crash through solid pillars, but not fences.  There should be some degree of logic applied to the worlds they are creating for us to get lost in.

The world is also empty and lifeless, except the cut-scened strip club, and enemies tend to look very similar and, like old school games, mysteriously disappear when they die.

Also when you start some levels it takes several seconds for the graphics engine to ‘focus’ into its final state, looking like you’ve entered a last-gen blur-fest until it rearranges itself to its final attractive state.

The character modeling is hit and miss: Fiddy and his crew look well rendered, but the others, including the ‘sexy’ female antagonist who looks more like an angry mannequin, look pretty ordinary.

Mind 2: The enemies, though, are plentiful and often you’ll be in a room with several timed rushes by a group of foes so you can work on your kill combos and score.

They take cover and throw grenades to flush you out of yours, which means you have to keep moving.

Mind 1: But the G-Unit person you choose to come with you (you can choose Tony Yayo, Lloyd Banks and DJ Whoo Kid if you care) doesn’t help you much, which is probably a good thing if you want to rack up your score without him stealing your kills.

Still, the friendly and enemy AI can get pretty dumb, like when Lloyd and a terrorist ran next to each other in the palace and somehow missed each other.  They both just stood near each other and looked at me until I put down the baddie with a headshot.

Mind 2: This game also lets you play co-op , which is always a blast.

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Mind 1: Yeah but there’s no split-screen co-op, only Live,  and that’s it for multiplayer.

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Mind-melding my minds back together forces me to decide what I ultimately think of this game.  Mind 1 had some very valid points, but in the end the game was never meant to be a blockbuster that competed with the likes of Gears of War 2, COD5, or Halo.  It isn’t innovative at all, except perhaps in its simple aim: to make a game look good and mix traditional shooting with arcady point-earning fun.

The game has a crap plot, crap dialogue, the music depends on your taste, and, looking at it on paper, it shouldn’t work that well. However, Blood On The Sand is a great-looking mostly well polished enjoyable arcady shooter that doesn’t try to bite off more than it can chew, and surprisingly ends up being a success.  Give it a go and see if you are as amazed as I was.

“7.5/10

© 2009 David Hilton:- 2IC-Sub Editor

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