You might be surprised by the games we’d call stinkers
With AAA game season just around the corner (you know that special overcrowded time when the big games usually compete to get your attention and almighty cash), we thought we’d look back on the year so far and pick out some games from all platforms which wasted our time and money.
Sure, there may be more stinkers to come, but they usually don’t dare to face off against the big end of year hitters.
We all have games we hope will be great fun but end up being stinkers and our writers have come up with our own games we hated to play this year. Some of the games chosen may have been released earlier than this year but it is when we caught up and played them.
What about ‘your’ stinkers!
We would be very interested in your opinion of games you’ve played this year that you didn’t like too, so please do comment in the box at the end of the article.
• Terminator Salvation (Xbox 360)
After seeing the movie, I was interested to check out the game. Sure, I’d seen the reviews but the main (perfectly valid) complaint was its direct cloning of Gears of War. Not a problem to me, I love Gears, and adding robots is always a good idea.
Oh how wrong I was. Never before have I played such a BORING game. Not like it’s broken, or glitchy, or anything like that. It was just so completely devoid of fun, despite following the Gears of War bible to the letter. Makes you realize how hard Epic must have worked to really make Gears as much fun as it is.
• Saints Row 2 (PC)
Don’t get me wrong, I loved Saint’s Row 2 on 360. I found it a lot more fun to mess around in than GTA IV, and the constant flow of rewards for stepping outside the story to just play in the massive sandbox were endless.
The shaky framerate did bother me though, so when I got a brand new powerhouse of a gaming PC I quickly snapped up the unusually low-priced PC version. This taught me a good lesson that there’s always a reason why certain relatively new games can be found for dirt-cheap prices: it was broken, as simple as that.
Horrible performance on a top-of-the-line PC, a disgusting number of bugs and glitches (even post-patch) but most of all a problem Volition have said they won’t be fixing where the game plays at about double-speed on Windows 7 that makes it run like a Looney Tunes cartoon. Not fun. Not fun at all. Especially since for some reason it requires a 13 gb install.
• Two Worlds: (Xbox 360)
It took me awhile to get to this game, but this year I finally gave it a go. Kill. Me. Now. When it took me 30 minutes to get out of the bloody first room in the game I was already in a rage.
Why the hell was it that to progress from the first room, you had to do more than simply walk straight out the exit, when in the intro the guy walks straight in?
So uhh what was the whole point of the intro then? Weird… then I finally got out, saw the horrible framerate, awkward controls and hilarious dialogue. And I put the controller down before playtime even hit 1 hour.
• Resident Evil 1: Archives (Wii)
For those of you that don’t know, Resident Evil: Archives is essentially a port of the amazing Gamecube remake of Resident Evil 1. It landed on the Wii with ‘enhanced graphics’ among other things.
Sadly, upon booting the game up in 480p, the game is forced into a 4:3 resolution, giving you large black bars on the sides of your TV.
Yes, I realize that it would be very difficult to convert pre-drawn backgrounds to widescreen, but come on, just give us a stretch screen option! I’d prefer slightly stretched characters than a smaller screen accompanied by huge black bars.
The only way to get this game to take full screen is to turn your Wii back down to 480i on the Wii menu. A simple stretch option would have been much appreciated! But sadly, by doing this it brings the games graphics quality essentially back down to what it was on the Gamecube.
Do not grab this title if you already own the Gamecube version, even if you are a fan of the series. It’s a bad attempt at milking you of your cash.
• Eat Lead: The Return Of Matt Hazard (Xbox 360)
You’d think the concept of a shooter game that made fun of a bunch of other video games that take themselves seriously (it has an ally called ”Master Chef” instead of Master Chief…get it?) would be full of fun and laughter.
Instead what you get is a boring old school game that makes you groan in dismay more that giggle with glee. Even the 2D pixelated tribute to Wolfenstein 3D’s look wasn’t enough to make me finish it.
I got my son to do that for me so I could still get the achievement points and was very glad I had borrowed and not bought it.
• Damnation (Xbox 360)
Another game with potential that had an interesting concept but went horribly, boringly wrong. In my review I explain it all, but suffice to say that it was a painful slog to the end and I was in damnation playing it.
• Bejeweled Blitz (Facebook)
Okay I hate this game, but not for the reasons you might think. I hate it because when I’m talking to my wife, she’s playing it trying to beat her Facebook family and friends’ scores. When we watch a movie or TV show at home, she’s half-watching and half playing this stupid jewel game.
I tried the game and found it too boring and just stupid. The worst game I’ve played this year! My opinion may have been predisposed to dislike it though, because my wife likes it too much.
Of course she claims I’ve pretty much been doing the same to her for years with my various console games…but it’s not the same is it?
• FUEL (Xbox 360)
An open world driving game should have two core principles to its design. To keep the player immersed in a seamless, free flowing, minimalist UI environment and to have core driving mechanics that provide fun and challenge for the player. FUEL has neither.
• Flock! (XBLA)
Never judge a book by its cover! Herding farm animals to “the Mother Flocker” will raise a brief smirk, until you quickly realise that under a colourful exterior is a rainbow of butchered game design, with so many problems that you’ll wonder if there ever was a competent game hidden amongst the entrails in the first place.
• Prison Tycoon 2 (PC)
I bought this old PC gem in the bargain bin at Wal-mart. It was completely, 100% broken. The controls didn’t even work. I guess I was being punished for my sadistic desire to entertain myself by instigating shiv-jabbin’ lunchroom fights in my own supermax.
• Ghostbusters (Xbox 360)
And not because it’s a bad game. It was an awesome game that I had been looking forward to for a long time. But the clunky controls would have to land it in this spot relative to the rest of the games I played this year. Sorry Dr. Veckman…
• Wolfenstein (PC)
Compared to its console counter-parts the game on the PC felt somewhat clunky and a bore to sit down and play through. The movement gave me a headache and the amount of bobble whilst running was nauseating.
The little open city where you can upgrade your gun and walk around and accept mission to me sounded good on paper but did not suit this game.
I was expecting a Return to Castle Wolfenstein-esque game but was left disappointed.
• Stormrise (Xbox 360)
As excited as I was with another RTS on the console, I really didn’t expect much from this title, and upon playing it I knew my expectations were still too high.
Whilst the Whip Select was a useful tool, the fact that only 1 squad could be chosen at any moment was annoying and the amount of casualties even on Normal made the game a complete chore and bore.
The insanely glitchy movement and attack of both the AI and the player made me wonder if this game was released at the right time.
• Metal Gear Solid Acid (PSP)
I know this game wasn’t released this year, but I’ve been lucky enough to have played mostly great games in 2009. I really, really did not like Metal Gear Solid Acid.
I will admit it was my first MGS game, and the style it was done in just confused the hell out of me. The graphics were nice enough, but I prefer to be able to move the character myself, not have to take turns with annoying cards.
Also, I really got fed up with being forced to watch the intro all over again when I started a new game. It’s a few minutes of my life I’d like back.
• Nintendo DS Games (in general)
I know the DS is a console, and I know this will flame alot of peoples keyboards, but I dont like the DS, it just feels like a silly console with basic kiddie-styled games that mostly suck.
I guess what they say is true, once you go for a PSP that is black, you dont go back. Other than that, I really, really hate styluses, I mean, with a passion.
• Call of Duty: World At War (Xbox 360)
Yes, I know, I’m going to be hung, drawn and quartered for this, and then yelled at, but honestly, I didn’t like it.
As a rule of thumb, I tend to avoid World War 2 games in general, but I had played COD4 and loved it, so I then played COD2 (I know, old school) and it was ok, but COD5 just really irked me for some reason. I guess im just a really picky gamer.
• Infernal (Xbox 360)
Infernal, as the name implies, it an infernal disaster of mammoth proportions. What started out with a great premise, slipped into gaming hell the moment you started the game. The graphics were so ‘last-gen’ it had me wondering how such a terrible game could actually be passed and given certification?
I’ve never known a shooter where you can basically walk headlong into opposing forces with a pistol, and be shot with SMG’s, fully automatic rifle fire and have explosions all about you, and not DIE – Hello… It took me almost 20 minutes to die, with me trying to die to actually prove a point.
The developers need to be taught a lesson that they simply cannot, and should not dump their rubbish on us simply to make a profit.
If you haven’t yet had a read of OXCGN’s most frustrating games, jump over to the article by clicking here.
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