Gamers, R U OK? Real Relationships Important

by dkpatriarch

© 2009 David Hilton

I first began gaming as an enjoyable pastime. However, as I increasingly became ill with chronic illnesses and as games became more mature and immersive I enjoyed them for the escape from my symptoms and the negative feelings I was dealing with.

We are more connected than ever, but is that connection close?

Gaming was easier than trying to relate to real people who didn’t understand what I as going through and seemed to rather not know.  But eventually even gaming couldn’t bring me distraction and joy anymore.

The truth is that people need relationships and more than that, they need encouragement and caring listeners.

I have never seriously considered suicide, though I’ve reached some pretty low lows.  However, there are more than 2000 people a year in Australia, higher than the national road toll, who have not only considered it, but gone through with it, leaving devastated families behind.

The worldwide figure would be shocking.

Ask someone: Are you okay?

And gamers could be at greater risk due to a higher likelihood of suffering depression and introversion.

According to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a study in the Seattle area on the effects of gaming on individuals potentially discovered that gamers tend to be overweight, around 35 years old and are more likely to be depressed.

According to the article at plugged in, they are not claiming that games themselves are the cause but rather that

depressed individuals might be turning to games as a means of self-medication, immersing themselves in a game’s world as a way of forgetting about real-life troubles.

Some gamers may be disconnecting from real relationships, leading to increased isolation.

In his excellent article titled Gamers and Depression, Noah Weil explores this relationship and even discusses suicide.  He says:

It’s an unfortunate truth that people who have a propensity for this kind of recreation and/or lifestyle seem to also have an extra susceptibility to this illness. The hope is to raise awareness of the symptoms of the disease, and the strategies for beating it….Having talked with an awful lot of players over the years, it seems to me that there is simply a higher incidence of depression in our [gaming] community. No one I’ve shared this view with has disagreed.

He goes on to advise that gamers help each other:

You as a bystander or a victim have the knowledge to help a person, a person who shares the same interests you do. Make a connection, help yourself and your community. We’ll all be better for it.

Which brings us to R U OK? Day.

Tomorrow in Australia is R U OK? Day, the brainchild of Gavin Larkin, aimed at encouraging everyone to connect with friends and loved ones who may be struggling.

The way to do that is to start a conversation with them.  The RUOK? site states:

It is the one thing we can all do to make a real difference. R U OK?Day is about prevention, preventing little problems turning into big problems. So it is not just about asking those at immediate risk. Connection is a crucial part of general health and well being to help in coping with issues such as stressful life events, mental health problems, relationship breakdowns and bereavement. Staying connected and ensuring your colleagues, friends and loved ones do so as well is as simple as having regular, meaningful, conversations. So every day can be R U OK?Day.

Gavin Larkin, who lost his father to suicide, stresses that everyone everywhere can make a difference.  According to the site, research shows talking about suicide with someone at risk actually reduces the chances of them taking their life.

Do people attracted to gaming often have depressive tendencies?

In Australia we have a “she’ll be right” attitude where people assume that everyone will handle things on their own.  But I can tell you that it can be lonely dealing with things alone.

Personally, I still struggle with my illnesses and negative thoughts.  But I have sought help, am working to reconnect, and have loving people around me who are listening.  Gaming is an enjoyable hobby for me, but I have learned real relationships are more important.

Who is the person in your life who is struggling the most?  Tips from Lifeline for starting and having conversations can be found on the site here.

For more information and links to where you can get information and help in Australia, click here.

R U OK? website: here.

© 2009 David Hilton