OXCGN’s Bulletstorm Review

Is it only for the “Dudebros” generation?

by exterminat

©2011 Nicholas Laborde

Mainstream multiplayer gaming, particularly within the ranks of Call of Duty (and similar titles), has led to what we call the “dudebro” generation.

A “dudebro” is your generic fratboy gamer, particularly those who play nothing but Call of Duty, Halo and Gears of War.

Typically, they know diddly-squat about culture, and the books they have read basically consist of such enlightening titles as Green Eggs and Ham and about the first ten pages of the first Halo novel.

They usually begin or end each of their sentences with “dude” or “bro” and filled with such wonderious filler words such as “like” – “you know – like”.

Bulletstorm is a game made by dudebros and for dudebros.

The Epitome of Class

Bulletstorm is a game that stars a large, bulky space marine named Grayson Hunt. He’s the player model of Dominic Santiago from Gears of War, only with more hair.

Hunt is a space pirate marine mercenary, who realizes that his employer, Sarrano, is an evil man, and has been using him to kill innocent people.

In a plot device never-before-seen (sigh), Hunt sets out on a tale of revenge, throwing out crappy one-liners at every available second.

And that’s about all the story you’re going to get out of this dudebro shooter. I will admit, it kept me remotely interested, and the dialogue (most of which I can’t post here) evoked many a chuckle, but the ending was absurd.

We do not want (or need, for that matter) Bulletstorm 2: Dudebro Evolved.

With a story like that, you may be wondering: what in the world could this game be like?

Well, dudebros and dudebroettes, Bulletstorm is a game about killing people in the most gruesome ways possible and getting scored per kill.

As the marketing line goes, “Kill with skill.” [Ed: Check the X360S 360 case at end of review]

• Bulletstorm Developers walkthrough

The better the kill, the higher the score. You use the points achieved from these kills to upgrade weapons and buy ammunition, because we’ve totally never seen that mechanic before.

Seven (gasp!) weapons are available for you to deal death with, and each has their own special kills, called Skillshots.

And that’s the premise of Bulletstorm. Killing with skill.

From blowing someone’s head off to making them get eaten by a giant plant, there are approximately 131 [gruesome] ways to kill people in this title, most of which, again, I can’t mention here.

• Bulletstorm screenshot slideshow

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One of the downfalls of Bulletstorm is that the game essentially has to be played with these skillshots.

The first part of the game is definitely the worst part, because no skillshots have been unlocked or discovered, and it becomes even more of your typical brown-n-bloom shooter.

Along with the weapons, we have one of the primary “innovations” of Dudebrostorm, the leash.

You can use it to pull things down, link with dropboxes (which supply you with ammunition, weapons and upgrades, along with containing the skillshot database) and, most primarily, pull enemies toward you so that they are drawn into a slow-mo state, allowing for even more strategic killing with skilling.

It’s the epitome of classy, generic dudebro shooting at its best.

Anarchy

Because dudebros are very social creatures, Brostorm (oops…Bulletstorm)  features a mode where you can team up with up to three other players and cooperatively kill with skill.

Come to think of it, I have no idea why the campaign didn’t feature coop to begin with. You’re only alone for maybe five combined minutes of the entire experience, so it could definitely have worked.

Anarchy mode is very similar to Horde mode from Gears of War 2 (who would have known?!).

Players have to achieve a certain score in a specified amount of time in order to advance to the next wave of enemies.

It’s actually rather entertaining if you’re with a group of friends for a short while, but it also can get boring quickly.

Of course there’s a catch!

Of course not!

That’s why you bought Bulletstorm EPIC EDITION on launch day, so that you can get access to the Gears of War 3 multiplayer beta, beginning on April 25th.

And because Epic loves their dudebros, they get in a week before everyone else. April 18th is the day your US$60 is put to good use, because you can download the beta from the main menu of the game.

Oh, but nothing else compares…

To put it simply, Bulletstorm is a generic FPS marketed to the lowest common denominator, attempting to revive the genre by introducing a streamlined killing method, but ultimately falls short due to over-hyping and over-promising.

But who cares about what I think!

We get the Gears 3 beta, and when Bulletstorm 2 comes out in fall 2011, we’ll eagerly purchase it for the Halo 4 beta.

OXCGN’s Bronze Award

“7.5/10

©2011 Nicholas Laborde

xxxxxx

• Bulletstorm screenshot gallery

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