OXCGN’s E3 2012 “WTF?’ Awards

The Crazy Scenes of E3 Immortalised

by Nicholas Laborde

©2012 Nicholas Laborde

E3 2012 is over for another year, and while we compile our information into some sort of narrative sense, we think of the things that have remained in our minds bringing either a smile or grimace to our faces.

For myself and one of OXCGN’s other two attending members, it was our first rodeo.

The lights, noise, spectacles, giant booths, booth babes, frantic PR representatives and overload of games can be enough to cause an anxiety attack.

Amidst a psychological breakdown and the rage of an Editor in Chief that demanded more content, I noticed many offbeat things at E3 2012 that deserved their own special awards.

From media/VIP lounges to the unknowing filming of booth babes’ behinds, here are the E3 2012 “best” awards you’ll not see anywhere else, probably for good reason.

… really?

Most Creepy and Unprofessional Media Award

This goes out to the cameraman I noticed who happened to be continually following around a group of booth babes and filming their behinds, obviously without their knowledge.

Either that or they chose to ignore him and hope he went away.

That’s class for you.

“Your Camera Almost Killed Me!” Bravery Award

I proudly present this award to Richie of 2K Games‘ Australian PR, who while being one of our most enthusiastic and helpful PR reps at the show, did not anticipate that the flash on my camera would pop up and assault his glasses.

By day three of E3, though, this is equivalent to attempted murder, nearly causing a full heart attack.  To his credit, he bravely soldiered on, probably popping a Valium when nobody was looking.

[Editor's note: OXCGN does not accept liability for any deaths caused by foolish staff flashing PR personnel)

Most Scantily Clad Booth Babes Award

Anyone who attended E3 2012 has seen the Konami booth babes - almost every inch of them.

While even the Lollipop Chainsaw girl was dressed provocatively, we must present this award to the wonderful (and hopefully well-paid) young ladies that represented Konami.

They were literally barely in underwear, and as Nicholas Capozzoli said based upon his 'observation', "they left nothing to the imagination."

'Butter Them Up' Media Hospitality Award

2K Games receives this generous commendation.

As things in this industry go, every publisher does things differently. 2K had an entire back lounge dedicated to VIPs and members of the media, offering tons of snacks and drinks while also being right next to their behind-closed-doors demos and appointment rooms.

And of course, they were eager to help out anytime you needed.  This was much appreciated, believe me.

Obnoxiously Loud Booth Award

E3 is a loud place. Everywhere you look, each company is vying for your attention (and, as members of the media, our endorsement).

While there is a strong urge to yell "LOOOUUUUUD NOISES!" like Brick in Anchorman, some booths amp things up a notch.

I can unequivocally state that Ubisoft's booth was the loudest, but Nintendo was next, all because of one piece of, well... the term 'music' is a bit debatable.

No matter which section of the convention center that you were in (the complex being divided up into two primary halls, West and South), you couldn't get away from the Moves Like Jagger song being blared louder than everything else.

The South hall was dominated by Ubisoft's booth and that repetitive lyric, and the West hall was eclipsed by Nintendo featuring the same horrid song on the Wii U version of Just Dance 4.

"You're Aussies?" Fair Dinkum, Mate Award

Writing for OXCGN is a complex thing to do.

For example, I’m the North American Representative and Second-in-Command (2IC) of a site originating from and centrally based in Australia, but my PR jurisdiction zones me for America since I’m from Louisiana.

Due to our robust network of contacts, some of our appointments for the show were made with Australian PR.

This led to a very familiar process: locate the PR desk, get in the American Media line, get told that we don’t have an appointment at that time, have a mini-heart attack similar to Richie, realize our EIC David Hilton made the appointment and that qualifies us as International Media, and then try again.

After doing so, we would then begin a process where we were asked the same question: “You’re Aussies?”

As perfectly as two guys from Louisiana and New Jersey can pass for someone from Oz, it became something of a commodity.

Even the demonstrators of our more intimate appointments would ask straight off the bat: “You’re Aussies?”

We admit to tooting our own horn here, but this award goes to our very own Nicholas Capozzoli, who by having the same first name as myself, also managed to further confuse more than a few PR reps on top of the nationality conundrum.

[Editor: Imagine my issues then: I'm a Canadian-born Australian.  Over here I can pass off as American media.  That's funny!]

Best Unexpected Party Appointment Award

I still can’t think about this moment without a smile.

About half-way through our scheduled time with EA, Arthur Kotsopoulos and I decided to get in to a behind-closed-doors hands-on presentation of the new Battlefield Premium service.

Immediately upon entering, we’re greeted to a tiny room with six beefy computers, a mini-bar and a DICE developer exuberantly exclaiming “Welcome to the party!”

Whether or not inebriates had anything to do with it, DICE were actively talking to us during our playtime.

It made for a great session and a very rewarding one.

“Best Booth To Be In If The Zombie Apocalypse Struck” Award

Bethesda wins this award, hands-down.

Their booth can be best described as a fortress: no way in or out except through the press desk, and you were only allowed in if you had an appointment.

Not to mention the replica arms and armor lining the walls for Elder Scrolls Online…they’d be very handy to hack off the heads of zombies (and maybe that perv media guy if he tried to get in).

Best Swag Award

THQ steals the show with this award, and I’m proud to say I have a piece of it.

THQ were distributing gas masks to anyone who had a Metro: Last Light appointment; great if the apocalypse were to hit right then, or if you were venturing outside into the L.A. smog.

While they were in fact giving them out last year, this time they had the game’s logo on the bag – and that’s what really makes it valuable.

Most ‘WTF’ Moment Award

This award goes out to Los Angeles’ finest.

When Nick Capozzoli entered his hotel on Sunday, he was greeted to an elevator full of police officers donning latex gloves.

They immediately said “Sir, you might want to take another elevator.”

Who is going to argue with that?

Best Crazy Marketing Award

There’s actually a tie for this one.

The best marketing attempts at E3 2012 came in the form of a crazed man with giant signs saying “NO HOPE LEFT” distributing fliers and preaching of the zombie apocalypse to promote Resident Evil 6, and a fully dressed Solid Snake randomly moving around the convention center in a cardboard box.

Seriously. I noticed a random cardboard box sitting by a booth, looked away, and when I returned again to look, it was walking away.

Nobody knew if it was actual Sony or Konami marketing, but I think that’s the point.

Best Conference Speech Award

There’s no competition on this one: Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park, win this one.

Easily the highlight of Microsoft’s E3 2012 media briefing, the duo donned the stage to mock everything that had preceded them, including Microsoft SmartGlass.  It went like this:

How many times have you been watching an episode of South Park and thought, ‘I’d like to be able to watch this on my television, while hooked into my mobile device, which is controlled by my tablet device, which is hooked into my oven,’ all while sitting in the refrigerator?’

“Did She Really Say That?” Award

I’ll give one last award to Ubisoft.

It seems that they’ve had an interesting choice of conference hosts, with this year’s show being led by Aisha Tyler.

During one of her lines, she said that “We’re all a little bit gay”, generally not something you would say at a press conference.

She kept going with it too, uttering for us to count how many times she got “girl-wood”.

Most Hidden Booth Award

This goes out to any company that was out of the range of discovering who really had the moves like Jagger.

©2012 Nicholas Laborde

Filed under: Xbox 360 Tagged: | 2K Games, booth babes, E3, e3 2012, E3 2012 Awards, Metro Last Light, OXCGN, THQ, Ubisoft, Wii U