Iron Man – A game to give to people you hate.
© 2008 Jim McIntyre
“`You know a game is bad when you actively procrastinate playing it. I can safely say that I have never before done as much housework as I did when I had to play Iron Man. Games are meant to be enjoyable, entertaining, and most importantly fun. I’m here to tell you that I found Iron Man to be none of those things.
“`The only way you will be able to garner any sort of enjoyment that lasts longer than 20 seconds from this title, is if you happen to be 4 years old or younger. Even then you will probably want to go back to murdering hookers in GTA after 5 minutes of what I will hesitantly refer to as “game-play”.
As Tony Stark you get to fly around environments that feel very much the same, blasting foes who seem very much the same, as you attempt to accomplish objectives that are very much the same. The only thing I had fun with was flying around, but even that is swiftly tarnished by the horribly repetitive game-play this game consists of.
More review and pics after the jump:-
Things kick off with you leaving a cave and setting fire to terrorists. Of course they don’t actually catch fire or even indicate that they are in any sort of pain. Instead they just fall to the ground as soon as the fire touches them. I understand that this is only a M15+ game, but even the movie had more violence. Things are instantly repetitive.
You fight through waves of enemies to get to the objectives that are represented on your screen by an orange marker. After destroying enough orange objectives a boss will emerge that will also be represented by an orange objective tag destroy him and then move on to the next level. That is the formula for the entire game.
These levels are broken up by cut scenes with some of the worst facial animations you have seen in a game in a very long time. I gagged and choked on my drink when I saw Tony Stark make a strange motion with his eyelid that could only have been an attempt at winking. It is hard to describe just how bad these facial animations are, its something that really needs to be seen to be believed. The story is similar to the movie, but manages to add more repetitive levels by including more companies that are using Stark weapons and so need to be destroyed
The 20 seconds of enjoyment I had with this title came from flying around as Iron Man. It looks great and is a lot of fun. Unfortunately it is hard to enjoy this when you are being hit by at least 20 missiles. I am not even over exaggerating for once, you are literally pummelled constantly by enemies. The problem with this is that it forces you to play defensively, constantly hiding to recharge your health and then popping up to fire off a few rockets.
Your suit can be upgraded as you progress and earn cash. Upgrades can increase your regeneration, defences, speed, or damage. Different upgrades will have better and worse stats in different areas. In a normal game this would force you to strategically choose your upgrades depending on what the mission you were doing was. Of course in this game of samey levels there is not a whole lot of reason to kit yourself out differently ever
Graphically the Iron Man suit is the only thing that really stands out. It has a good amount of detail and looks great zooming through the sky. Unfortunately the rest of the game does not maintain this level of graphics.
I can’t recommend this game to anyone, besides very young kids and gifts for people whom you despise. It’s redeeming qualities are extremely few and far between. This game is simply further proof that movie to game adaptations will always blow the hardest. The very limited amount of fun that can be had with this title is not worth putting up with the shoddy control system, poor graphics, horrid gameplay, terrible cut-scenes, and all around substandard game.